By: Ansley Bonaventure, Middle School Principal

“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So then, none of you can be my disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.”
(Luke 14:28-33) 

I have been thinking about how quickly our school year seems to be going (we only have a quarter and a half remaining!) and how fast even time in general is moving. Indeed, our days are a “fleeting breath” (James 4:14). Perhaps this pace is one of the reasons that it is truly difficult to “count the cost” of our decisions and of our choices. When everything is moving so quickly, it can be difficult to take the much-needed time to evaluate decisions. But Jesus tells us that this time to evaluate is not only beneficial, it is essential.

According to the passage in Luke, if a builder doesn’t count the financial cost of a project, he may not be able to complete it and others will notice (and even ridicule). And, what king would ever go to battle without considering what is needed for victory or peace? And, finally, Jesus explains the ultimate counting of the cost to be His disciple: the understanding that we must truly give up all that we have in surrender to His Lordship (and I would add to experience His goodness!).

WHERE CAN WE PAUSE AND COUNT THE COST?

What about today? Not many of us are builders, especially not kings. So, where can we pause and count the cost? Daily! As parents! And there may be nowhere we need to count the cost more than when it comes to the handheld computers that are now a part of our everyday lives. 

Can we please pause and count the cost? What is the cost of allowing our students unlimited access to phones (or games or home devices)? Experts from a variety of backgrounds have said that eighth grade (or age 13) is the earliest a child should have a smartphone. Even Tony Faddell, creator of the iPod, has said, “I wake up in cold sweats every so often thinking, ‘What did we bring to the world?’” This is not to say that there may not be reasons to have a phone before age 13, but if there are, what are they? What is the cost? 

Or, even without a phone, let’s count the cost of other ways that our students stay connected these days (via a family iPad, an email address, or even a parent’s phone). What is the cost of group texts? Has a purpose been defined? Is a group chat creating meaningful dialog where students lift one another up, have fun, and make true connections? Or are they a place where our children hide behind short phrases and pictures and call it a conversation? What is the cost? What is being lost?

THE PAUSE WILL ALWAYS BE WORTH IT

I am certain that many reasons for having a phone or being a part of a group chat have been defined as beneficial and healthy. But, I implore us all - just as Jesus said, there is always a cost. Please know the cost of our allowances as parents.

The Holy Spirit will give us wisdom in our choices and grace for one another as we navigate these choices. But, please do not be deceived into believing that our children need these things. In the years of elementary and middle school, what they need most are real-time, face-to-face conversations and experiences with their families and with one another. There is no substitute for the power of in-person relationships - the things that are beautiful as well as the parts that are so very hard and cause us to grow. 

Jesus came in the flesh. God knew we needed more than His Word with us - we needed the person of Jesus. The person - not just the message.

May we count the cost of our digital lives, and may we always choose our people over our possessions.

There is a cost. Have you counted it? It takes time but the pause will always be worth it.