By: Clint Fisher, Dean of students and families

According to Paul Tripp, author of Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family, parenting is a difficult and holy job. Jesus challenges us to lay up treasures in heaven where moths and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal.

Tripp introduced four areas where parenting is destroyed by the thieves of distraction.

IDENTITY

We often fall into the trap of seeking our meaning, purpose, and self-worth in our children. Tripp warns that this is unwise because our children are imperfect and will never meet every expectation. As a result, we risk placing heavy burdens on them, which can crush their spirits.

We can avoid this by resting in our identity in Christ. This allows us to love our children unconditionally - regardless of their performance, respect, obedience, or rebellion. In doing so, they can experience the unconditional love of Christ.

work

We see parenting as a means to produce something in our children. We use our authority, power, and resources to produce in our children the best scholars, athletes, well-rounded people, etc. We do this because we want the best for them, and we believe we know what that is.

We avoid this by realizing that God is producing the young man or woman he desires of our children, and we are powerless to change that. We need only seek His will and trust Him with both the process and the product.

Success

We often think of parenting as proving that we know what we’re doing. We create a checklist of milestones for our children to achieve, believing their accomplishments will reflect our success as parents.

We must understand that true success in parenting is not about outcomes but about how we live. It’s about valuing God’s work in our lives, not our own achievements. Parenting success stems from our dependence on God’s grace, not our methods, tools, or techniques.

REPUTATION

We sometimes use our children as trophies, parading them before others to display our worth. When they falter, we become preoccupied with how it reflects on us as parents. We lay burdens on their performance that communicate that they are loved and accepted if they succeed.

We break this cycle by remembering that our children’s actions mirror the struggles in their hearts, not our value. Both we and our children are trophies of God’s grace. Our glory is found only in God’s glory, and He will redeem our reputation.

At your next parent meeting, we encourage you to share which of these four "thieves" most often steals your parenting joy.
We will then have the opportunity to pray for one another, asking God to set our hearts and minds on things above, allowing Him to work in us and through us for His glory.