Timeless and Timely Parenting ... Another Look

let’s “walk along the way” with our kids, with our eyes first on Him.

By: Bobby Scott, Headmaster Emeritus

The questions and thoughts around what is timeless and what is timely are intriguing and very complicated. As you are reading this, you will have hopefully heard and received sage wisdom from Tim Elmore regarding this subject at our parents equipping night/campus meeting.

The subject itself, timeless and timely parenting, will be always be discussed … at least until keeping time is obliterated. “Even so, come …”

It Takes Messing Up

Part of the difficulty of timeless and timely parenting is that one person’s timely can often be another’s timeless. My wife and I look back with groans at how we tried to apply timeless values by censoring timely movies. Not that parents should never try to guard the hearts of their kids, but we learned that, in many cases, it’s far better to watch what is timely for our kids as a way to discuss what is timeless, rather than create unnecessary angst.

Be assured, when your kids get older, they will highlight your gaffes!

It Takes Making Time

Overall, I think the best approach to timeless and timely parenting must be organic, as is suggested in Deuteronomy 6 …  talking with our children about all aspects of life as we “walk along the way.” But doing so requires two things: making conversation and making time to walk. And our culture doesn’t make it easy.

It Takes learning What is Timely

Last week, I spent some time in a second grade class, subbing for about an hour. As we worked on the floor creating images using Chinese tangrams, one young man was full of questions for me about video games … my favorite game, what device I used, etc.

When 60 years separate two lives, there aren’t just gaps, but total disconnect! He quickly discerned my grave ignorance and delighted in telling me all his experiences.

To be able to connect about this subject, if he was my grandson, I must listen and explore his language and, to a degree, embrace his enthusiasm. There would be joy in it, but it would take focus. And in that time, timeless truths could be learned … even if it is just, “my granddad loves me.”

It Takes Tackling the Issues

In our older classes, bigger questions emerge: Is there dignity in everyone? How do you love people who believe differently, act differently, or even hate you? Can behavior be wrong but not illegal? Can it be illegal but not wrong?

These are heavy and complicated issues that are best discussed at home, even if parents don’t know all the answers. This truth (that mom and dad don’t have all the answers) in and of itself is timeless. Building a family habit of open discussion can take hold in these growing up years.

It Takes Vulnerability

We certainly need new and creative parenting maps and bold hearts to preserve timeless ideas while still relating to what is timely for our children. However, stressing over our responsibilities in parenting and relying on our own abilities to parent can tie us in knots. And even the simplest things can become amazingly difficult. Sometimes the more we learn about parenting just adds another column on a list that we already feel guilty about never getting around to.

It Takes Surrender and Prayer

“Martha, Martha, you are worried about so many things.” That is not what these ideas should lead to. We naturally desire to parent well, but we mustn’t let our unchecked list or Instagram feed or even the behavior of our children define us. Oh, we love our kids, but we know even our best shot cannot guarantee their hearts will turn to Him. That’s why we must faithfully …

Pray. Rely on Jesus. Stop trying so hard. Find joy in our weakness. He wants to hear our cry for His help to tackle another day of being a parent. Find unexpected joy. Remember that what little control we have over our children will, in a wink, be gone. Savor it all.

One day we will see in full light what is truly timeless. Until then, let’s “walk along the way” with our kids, with our eyes first on Him.