Holding the Flashlight

Point your children to Jesus and model what it means to walk the long road of faith.

By: Jimmy Kim, Perimeter Church Executive Director of Family Transformation

My parents immigrated to the United States from South Korea in 1971. With no grasp of the English language, $200 in cash, and only one contact in their new address book, they somehow found a way to build a life and raise our family. My dad possessed a resolute determination, along with another invaluable skill - he knew how to fix cars. In fact, that ability opened the door for them to come to America. As a trusted mechanic in the South Korean military, he was given the opportunity to move to the U.S., and my parents never looked back. It wasn’t out of disdain for their homeland but rather out of hope for a better future.

Given my dad’s talent for working on cars, it might seem surprising that my parents ran a restaurant. By the time I was born, they were living the “American dream.” Despite the grueling demands of the restaurant business, Mr. Kim remained the go-to mechanic for our extended family, the servers and cooks, and even some of the restaurant’s regulars. And, as dads often do, he enlisted my help. More specifically, he needed me to hold the flashlight.

If you’re wondering how many ways there are to hold a flashlight, I can tell you from experience - two: the right way and the wrong way. And I was an expert at holding it the wrong way. But during those countless hours by his side, sweat dripping from his brow as he muttered Korean curse words under his breath, my dad was teaching me something. He never gave formal lessons, and though “class was always in session,” he didn’t lecture. Beyond showing me how to change the oil, replace an alternator, or even rebuild an engine on our front lawn (yes, he really did that), he was teaching me resilience. Admittedly, I still have room to grow in that area.

Now that I’m a father, I often think about my dad - his upbringing, his strengths, and his weaknesses. I reflect on the hours I spent holding that flashlight and how, in his own way, he was preparing me for fatherhood. It was never about teaching me to be a mechanic. It was his way of spending time with me, drawing close, and being vulnerable. He was walking a path he had worn into the ground, even as he modeled how to blaze new trails.

Walking the Long Road of Faith

You may recall this trail imagery from Parent Equipping Night with Russ Ramsey. His message was a reminder that life’s journey unfolds in stages - from the early years of unceasing tasks with young children to the later years of unceasing prayer for adult children. Many of you reading this are likely in the thick of “too much to do with too little time.” My encouragement to you is this: invite your kids to hold the flashlight. Have them walk alongside you. I know - it’s slow going, and it would be faster to do it alone. But it’s not just you. Your children are watching and listening. Though my dad was not a Christian for most of his life, through common grace, he was teaching me this biblical principle:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
(Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

Parenting is a demanding journey, so be careful not to move at an unsustainable pace or overlook the beauty of ordinary moments. Remember, we have a good and gracious Heavenly Father who goes before us and walks with us every step of the way. Point your children to Jesus and model what it means to walk the long road of faith. Building habits and following a list have their place, but so does simply inviting them to hold the flashlight.