Letting Go of Our Inner Lawyer

i am safe and secure in his love.

By: Brendon O’Dowd, head of school

Parenting is hard work! Now that my children are grown and I have grandchildren, I realize more than ever that parenting doesn’t end when children leave home - it is truly a lifelong journey.

After over 32 years as a parent, I am deeply grateful for the joys and blessings of raising my children. However, looking back, I also recognize moments when my heart was not where it should have been. I see now - and continue to see - that I tend to focus on myself rather than others, especially in times of conflict. Paul Tripp, in chapter 6 of Parenting, puts it this way: “Sin makes us activate our inner lawyers and rush to our defense when it would be better for us to listen, consider, and be willing to confess” (p. 90).

This tendency to be self-focused, to rationalize, and to defend my actions often arises when I’m in a hurry and feel the need to make a quick decision - or at least what I perceive to be a quick decision. My inner lawyer kicks in at full strength, searching for every piece of evidence that supports my position!

My prayer is that I would slow down and listen - to God and to others - remembering that I don’t need an inner lawyer because God is both my defense attorney (advocate/paraclete) and my judge. I am safe and secure in His love.

So, let’s fire our inner lawyers and commit to slowing down, listening carefully, and trusting God’s Word to guide us.