"Want to Play?"

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When we give Our Boys time and attention, relationship happens.

By: Courtney Hester, Perimeter School Mom of Three Boys

I can hear his words in my mind like it was 10 minutes ago, but it was 10 years ago now!

Back then we actually played ... a lot! There was much more time to play when everyone was in the lower elementary world and younger. Train table time seemed like it would never end. Tree climbing play dates (circa kindergarten 2011) were not uncommon. I remember choosing to build Legos or swing to engage with my boys.

But I also remember thinking ... “There is an endless pile of laundry! I need to finish this project! I should go run this errand! Play is just too much right now!”

 

Playing With Our BOys

We started at Perimeter School when the “know they are loved, love to learn, and learn to serve” vision statement had not yet been penned. However, Charlotte Mason habits and the founding mission and covenant parent philosophy were clear. 

Playing WITH my kids was always part of the answer to being present with them and training them. And Perimeter School encouraged and expounded upon that idea in so many ways in our early years. 

But, even though I knew the facts, learning to practice this well was (and still is) unfolding.

 

Relationship happens

Now, I have classic rock blaring ... sometimes during driving lessons or with musical instrument accompaniment. Skateboards and pole vaults are the dominant activities at my house. The need for food is endless. My ears hurt from the noise at times. Most of our “talk time” comes behind the windshield to and from this or that. And the laundry, errand, and project lists are longer than ever.

But still, I hear, “Come on! Come play!”

Today it was darts. So, I stopped, and we played. It wasn’t what I had in mind, it wasn’t on my agenda, and it wasn’t exactly my idea of fun. But, here’s the honest truth ... 

A lot of the time, what they want to play isn’t my favorite. Often it comes at inopportune times. But the dividend to “playing” is that they talk and that is a lot of the battle in parenting - especially for boys. 

When we give them time and attention, relationship happens. When we choose to engage and love on their level and in their language, they hear us loud and clear.  

Someone once advised us as young parents, “No one ever cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”  Playing shows we care. Then they will care, over time, how much we know.   

 

Mother-Son Day

Perimeter School knows this truth, and they encourage (and make space for it) in any way they can … including Mother-Son Day on Saturday, April 24. The goal of Mother-Son Day is to provide a day of bonding between the boys of Perimeter School and their mothers. We know this day is so precious, and although this year is not normal nor desired, I believe the time together will be equally meaningful this year (maybe more so!) since we each get to decide the activity that will best engage our boys.

Here is the good news! Beyond this coming event, every day is a new opportunity to find a way to play!

When I think about my children asking me to play I hear two distinct verses ringing in my mind. It’s the Lord calling though the voice is my child leading me ...

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” 

Matthew 11:28

“He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”

Romans 8:32

May we respond in wisdom so that our children know that they are beloved. May we together find rest as we engage over some favorite, good things … whatever those may be. From these good things, may the best thing, deeper relational discipleship and adoration of our one true rest, grow. 

Heed His invitation! You will never regret it!

 
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